The Becoming

The Becoming (Book 1) by Jessica Meigs

There is a really good story somewhere in The Becoming. The action scenes are full of intensity, and the zombies are unlike any I’ve ever read about. This book, this series, has potential. Unfortunately, I think the writing kept that potential from being reached.

I didn’t have too many issues with the book, but the ones I did have appeared so frequently they were overwhelming. They hijacked my reading experience. I think the author needed a better editor. Admittedly, I read The Becoming as the two separate novellas, The Becoming: Outbreak and The Becoming: Safe House, that were put together to make the novel. Perhaps the combined unit fixes some of the issues I found. I won’t know; reading the two novellas was frustrating enough that I don’t think I can attempt to read any form of this story again.

The biggest issue I had was the proliferate use of adverbs. It was difficult to find consecutive non-dialogue sentences that were free of adverbs ending in –ly. Such heavy use was unnecessary. Cade can look back at the vehicle; she doesn’t have to “finally” do it “reluctantly.” In many cases, the adverbs did not add much to the ideas or actions they modified. It was too much.

Facial and bodily expressions were another. I don’t know how many times jaw were clenched and knuckles went white, but it was a lot. The Becoming is full of action and motion. I didn’t see a need for so many grins, frowns, and raised eyebrows. Often, these expressions did not match the emotions described in the surrounding sentences. It was, in a way, reminiscent of a lot of 1980s Japanese cartoons, when characters gasped and sighed in exaggerated fashion.

The last issue I’ll list here is four-dimensional awareness, which manifests in two ways: physical positioning and time relation. I’m not sure the author performed any blocking while writing. Many of the physical actions seem implausible. For instance, I don’t think Cade would be able to throw a forceful punch while holding a rifle. How can Nikola see Ethan riding a motorcycle if she’s hiding in a basement? Why is a rifle Cade’s weapon of choice when surrounded by zombies? None of this makes sense to me.

Time relation was a serious problem. On one page we read that they’ve been hiding in a particular house for “about a month and a half now, unmolested for the most part…” but on the next we learn that it was “their third day at their third hide out, or safe house…” Another time, “They faced off for several more silent, tense minutes, but it didn’t take Ethan long to shift his eyes away from Cade’s.” Several minutes is a long time before shifting eyes. Things like this make me question the author’s intent.

I think a good editor could have helped the author fix a lot of these issues. As I mentioned earlier, there is a good story in there somewhere. This product, however, is not it. I may or may not read the The Becoming: Brothers in Arms novella (Book 1.5 of the series)—it is already on my Kindle—but the series will not continue past there for me.

F