Needles for Free

Needles for Free by Ryan K. Smith

When telling a story, one of the most important things to get right is the length. Make it too long, and you lose the rhythm and the audience. Too short, and the audience doesn’t quite get everything. When I picked up Needles for Free, I saw how short it was and said, OK? I wasn’t sure what I would get out of something so short. Then I read it. Needles for Free’s length is perfect. This book is the story of a life. Not a biography telling the events and circumstances and irrelevant anecdotes, but the story of the life. This story is real and raw and frightening and tender. Needles for Free is about one of life’s tougher moments, one that everyone would like to forget, but can’t.

Needles for Free is billed as the story of a young bipolar man’s journey through a manic episode. Superficially, it is that. I’m no expert on mental health, but I have spent significant time with people who are bipolar. None of them had manic episodes quite like this. Free’s episode is too focused and coherent for me to say this episode was just one of mania. There’s something else going on with Free. I think I know what it is, and it’s what really makes this story compelling.

At its core, Needles for Free is the tale of one man’s battle of what is and what is not. Truth comes from many places. That’s part of Free’s problem. He doesn’t know what real is. He can distinguish neither truth nor its source. As the book progresses, Free comes out of his mania and comes back to a physical reality. In a way, it’s very heartbreaking. In his manic state, he’s full of confidence. He sees great things in himself. Out of it, those feelings are all gone. It’s sad. But there is hope here. The optimistic me knows that Free’s journey is really just beginning. Free’s struggle is not just one of the physical world. The man is also in the midst of a spiritual battle. It is here that the story goes to the next level. There are many people who believe themselves to be spiritual. Many of them live their lives as a game of tug-of-war between the physical and spiritual. I can only imagine what that must be like for someone who doubts his/her own sense of reality. Free’s advantage, though, is that he knows his condition. And he knows he has a place in God’s world. The last part is for him to figure out what that place is.

There is a bit of a coming-of-age aspect in here. It’s part of Free’s—and our—development. We never stop growing; we never stop evolving. Free is a grown man, but he still has much to learn. A lot of what is written during Free’s mania shows that he has to learn that he has much to learn. As the book progresses, he spends much of his time in introspection.

If this book was any longer, it wouldn’t feel real. It would, instead, feel orchestrated, which would remove much of the reader’s emotion. That emotion is necessary. The pacing of the book demands it. Reading Needles for Free is an experience, and it’s not a comfortable one.

I don’t know if the author plans on adding a sequel or two to Needles for Free or if he plans to let it lie as a stand-alone story. The next part of Free’s journey, I think, may be the assessment of his tethers. I’m interested to see how his journey goes.

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